INFJ personality types are known for being chameleons. Part of this is our strong extraverted feeling function, which allows us to immediately pick up on the emotions and moods of others, and then mirror their emotional state back to them. This is obviously why INFJs make such great counselors and are able to easily help others untangle personal problems. However, another reason we tend to “chameleonize” ourselves when we’re around other people is due to fear. (more…)
Being an INFJ personality type comes with many gifts, but it can also feel like it comes with many burdens at the same time. In addition to being highly sensitive (sometimes to an extreme degree), many INFJs also struggle with high amounts of anxiety and depression.
A lot of INFJs report that they experience a low-key depression running in the background of their lives, even when it appears that everything is going well on the surface. In fact, what might be the most frustrating to INFJs about the way they experience anxiety and depression is that it can be very difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that is causing them to feel this way. So, they then feel guilty for even feeling anxious or depressed, because in their mind they have “no good reason” to feel that way. (more…)
If you are an INFJ personality type then you have definitely experienced the loneliness of being an INFJ, because while INFJs easily understand the psychological landscape of those around them, they are typically misunderstood themselves. Added to this is the fact that most INFJs have trust issues and it’s difficult for us to open up to people and share our real selves.
This results in INFJs feeling lonely and isolated, and also internalizing this loneliness as a belief that something is wrong with us. Deep down, most INFJs feel that they are defective in some way, and that if they were ever to show the world their true self, they would be rejected for being too weird, too sensitive, or just not normal. (more…)
It’s no surprise that many writers feel misunderstood and alone. Writing, after all, is mostly a solitary pursuit. Whenever we visualize a writer hard at work, we tend to think of a person sitting all by themselves in an empty room, typing away. While this is sometimes true, that doesn’t mean that writers like being lonely or that we don’t long for connection or community.
It’s not only the solitary nature of writing that makes writers lonely. It’s also that most writers are introverts. We tend to be naturally introspective, and some of us even suffer from social anxiety. Groups and group activities can be hard for us, and even though we have a lot to say on the page, making conversation in real life isn’t always easy.
I talk more about writers and why we’re so lonely in the video below: (more…)
Writers and artists are notorious for being horrible salesmen, and many of them take a certain sort of secret pride in this fact. Even though it’s uncomfortable, being a “starving artist” can feel noble to creative types, and it also seems to prevent against the evil of “selling out,” something else which many writers and artists fear.
On the other hand, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients who come to me and say, “I’m so passionate about my creative work. Why can’t I make any money from it? What am I doing wrong?”
The problem is the emotional baggage that most writers and artists have around the selling process. We do tend to see the act of selling as something negative. However, the selling process itself is neutral. It’s the energy we bring to the selling process that determines whether it becomes positive or negative. (more…)