Lauren Sapala

Category: Introverts, INFJs, and INFPs

  • INFJ Wrath: When the Rabbit Turns into the Cobra

    INFJ Wrath: When the Rabbit Turns into the Cobra

    To the outside world, INFJ personality types are usually seen as one of the most warm and caring types. Even if the INFJ in question is very introverted, we will most often still display a very compassionate and accepting nature. We are known for being able to see all sides of a situation—and many times, all aspects of a person—and so we tend to be great mediators, and experts when it comes to human nature.

    INFJs also usually know this about themselves—even if they aren’t familiar with the MBTI personality system and they have no idea what type they are. An INFJ doesn’t need to know their exact personality classification to have picked up on the fact that they can understand people at a deeper level than most others can. The warm, caring side of the INFJ is no mystery to the INFJ who is experiencing it. To us, it’s just how we are.

    However, there is another side to the INFJ that is much more confusing, to INFJs themselves, and to others. (more…)

  • INFJs and INFPs Are Not Weird. We’re Neurodiverse.

    INFJs and INFPs Are Not Weird. We’re Neurodiverse.

    A common theme for people of the INFJ personality type and INFP personality type is to feel like most of life is a struggle. INFJs and INFPs tend to experience conflict around writing and creativity, and also usually have a hard time finding the connection to their life purpose, their truth, and their place in the world.

    Most of us feel alienated, alone, and like there is no place for us. But this is what most INFJs and INFPs don’t know: (more…)

  • Why INFJs and INFPs Overthink EVERYTHING

    Why INFJs and INFPs Overthink EVERYTHING

    Overthinking is a big problem for both INFJ personality types and INFP personality types. As a writing coach who specializes in working with both types, I’ve seen that overthinking is tied to INFJs and INFPs struggling overall with creativity, feeling connected to their intuition, and life in general.

    So many INFJs and INFPs have said to me:

    “I overthink everything. Why can’t I stop?”

    Overthinking for INFJs and INFPs manifests differently, but with either type, it tends to show up around the same areas in life—specifically in writing and creativity, and in relationships and interpersonal interactions. In all of these areas, overthinking tends to manifest as decision anxiety. (more…)

  • Why Do INFJs and INFPs Struggle So Much with Being Creative?

    Why Do INFJs and INFPs Struggle So Much with Being Creative?

    INFJ and INFP personality types are two of the most creative personality types among all the 16 types. We love art, writing, color, beauty, and finding the deeper meaning behind everything. However, as a writing coach who specializes in working with INFJ and INFP writers, I can tell you that I’ve worked with so many people of either type who have said to me:

    “I know I’m creative, so why is it so hard for me to express it?” (more…)

  • What Happens When INFJs and INFPs Fall in Love

    What Happens When INFJs and INFPs Fall in Love

    When I was in my 20’s, I fell madly in love with a guy and ended up moving across the country for him. We were together for three months in Seattle before he broke up with me and started dating someone else. A couple of friends had moved out to the West Coast with me, so I wasn’t totally alone, but I was still devastated. Not only over losing the guy, but also because it seemed like no one else around me understood what I was going through.

    This had been a pattern before the Seattle-guy breakup, and it continued to be a pattern afterward. For a long time, I assumed that I was too sensitive, or that I got too attached to people. For a while, I just thought something was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I get over people as fast as others did? Why did it take me a year or two, or an even longer amount of time, before I wasn’t actively in pain over a relationship crashing and burning? And maybe the weirdest thing of all, why did I still FEEL the energy of the person long after we had ceased to speak or even glimpse each other in real life? (more…)