INFJ personality types and INFP personality types both have the common fear of being seen by others. Both INFJ personality types and INFP personality types also crave being seen by others. We most often experience a fear of being seen because on some level we know that to be seen is also to be “mis-seen,” which means that other people will attach their stories and projections onto us.
Because INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to be internalizers (meaning we internalize most things and blame ourselves for most things) we also tend to take responsibility for the projections of others. If someone misunderstands us, or judges us unfairly, we feel this very acutely, and we also feel the need to fix it, or to correct their judgment. When we take our place in the spotlight, it become impossible to make sure that every single person sees us accurately and does not project anything onto us. Continue Reading
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types are two of the MBTI personality types that tend to struggle with unhappiness in life. For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, this unhappiness usually stems from keeping themselves small. This can show up in the workplace, in family life, or in a friend group. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types usually play small to protect themselves, and to ensure that they don’t trigger insecurity in others. However, this has a long-term detrimental affect on the INFJ or INFP, as they don’t feel like they can ever really be seen, heard, or acknowledged for who they are. Continue Reading
One of the questions I hear the most often from INFJ personality types is:
How come I’m always dissatisfied?
Many INFJs feel like they are never content in life, and most of us blame ourselves. We believe it’s a problem with our own perspective, or an issue with us not being grateful enough for what we have. But this isn’t just a “you” problem, this is an INFJ problem.
For INFJ personality types, experiencing a high quality of life is very important. We’re not satisfied with just having a steady job that pays the bills, and sharing social connections with people just because we have a few superficial things in common. Continue Reading
Being an INFJ personality type comes with many gifts, but it can also feel like it comes with many burdens at the same time. In addition to being highly sensitive (sometimes to an extreme degree), many INFJs also struggle with high amounts of anxiety and depression.
A lot of INFJs report that they experience a low-key depression running in the background of their lives, even when it appears that everything is going well on the surface. In fact, what might be the most frustrating to INFJs about the way they experience anxiety and depression is that it can be very difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that is causing them to feel this way. So, they then feel guilty for even feeling anxious or depressed, because in their mind they have “no good reason” to feel that way. Continue Reading
For people who are INFJ personality types, regular life can be hard. Usually, when we’re growing up and still figuring ourselves out as young adults, we assume that life is so hard because there is something wrong with us. INFJs are extremely observant, and it’s easy for us to see all the many ways in which we don’t fit in with the groups around us. What is much more confusing though, is why we don’t fit in.
This leads most INFJ personality types to feel alone, misunderstood, rejected, or weird (and not in a good way). These negative feelings are only compounded by the fact that we are easily able to understand the personalities of others. We can quickly grasp the psychological motivations of other people, what makes them tick and why they do the things they do. Again though, we are painfully aware that other people do not grasp these things about us.
The lack of understanding from other people is also not the only thing that makes us feel so alone in the world. Most INFJs are an enigma even to themselves and this also causes us emotional pain. I talk more in-depth about this in the video below:
I’m teaching a new class this September called Energy and Intuition for INFJs and I’m going to be covering topics like these, and so much more. We’re going to be learning about the INFJ emotional system (and INFJ emotional stumbling blocks), self-image and self-worth, relationships, creativity, and finding your life purpose as an INFJ. If this sounds like something you need right now, be sure to sign up for my newsletter HERE to get all the updates.
I’ve gotten a lot of requests from people to teach a class like this for a long time, so I’m pretty excited to dive into this topic. So many INFJs needlessly suffer because they don’t fully understand how they work as a personality, or how they fit into the world. I’m creating this new class to help specifically with those very issues, so I think it will be a turning point for a lot of people.
If you have any questions at all, please send them to me here. And stay tuned for the next video in this series on “How to Unblock Your INFJ Intuition.”
Lauren Sapala is the author of The INFJ Writer and The INFJ Revolution. You can get a free copy of her book on creative marketing for writers by signing up for her newsletter HERE.
