Empaths do struggle more with creativity and writing than other people, and empaths also usually do not understand why it is so hard for them to write and create. When they sit down to write they may feel scared or anxious, paralyzed, extremely distracted or even drowsy, and emotionally upset.
Despite these unpleasant symptoms that tend to occur for many empaths when they attempt to sit down and write, they still really do want to write. This creates a push-pull feeling that is extremely stressful.
Most empaths have trouble writing, and this trouble comes down to the issue of fear. The fear is rooted in being terrified of what others will think of their writing. Empath writers are usually afraid that other people will not think their writing is “good,” or they will be offended by something they’ve written, or they will think they are stupid or thoughtless, or they will be angry that the empath wrote about family history.
The root of the fear is that the empath believes that when they put their writing out into the world, other people will not like it or will not approve of it. This is rooted to a belief almost all empaths struggle with, which is, “I am responsible for the reactions and emotions of others.”
Years ago, when I was a struggling alcoholic 20-something in Seattle, my secret dream was to be a writer. But, I couldn’t write. Every time I sat down to try, I was blocked. And not just blocked, but extremely blocked. I felt panicky and anxious, or numb and frozen. I literally could not write one word, even though I thought about writing all the time.
I assumed something was really wrong with me. If I wanted to write so badly, then why couldn’t I write at all?
It wasn’t until years later, after I had joined a silent writing program and finally been able to write my first novel, that I understood what was actually going on with me. The answer was clear, and yet it’s something I still see so many writers struggling with, and just like me, they have no idea why they are struggling so much to write.
As an empath and an INFJ, my relationships with other people have always been out of the ordinary. In my last two articles I talked about how I always attracted energy vampires in my life (Do You Always Attract Energy Vampires? This Is the Reason Why…), and how even my most well-intentioned friends still managed to drain me to the point that I felt like I couldn’t have close friendships with people (Are You an Empath Who Struggles with Relationships that Always Take Too Much? Here’s One Way to Break the Cycle).
These experiences only exacerbated the feeling of loneliness that I already had in the world. From the time I was very young, I knew that I was different, and I knew it was a difference that other people couldn’t understand. What really hurt though, was that I could understand other people so incredibly well. So, I was left feeling like, even though I could fully see, hear, acknowledge and appreciate the depths of another person, no one could do the same for me.
On top of this, I noticed early on that other people did not seem to be interested in the same things I was interested in. I wanted to explore my inner landscape and the psychological terrain of others. I wanted to talk about topics like spirituality, metaphysics, history, philosophy, stories, and dreams. Whenever I brought anything like this up in a conversation, people either gave me blank or puzzled stares, or said something snarky to let me know what a weirdo they thought I was.
As an INFJ and an empath, I have attracted energy vampires most of my life. They’ve ranged from the relatively harmless person who tends to dump all their personal problems on me every time we meet, to the severely toxic people who can be classified as narcissists and psychopaths.
Since this has happened to me since the time when I was very young, I’ve gone through every stage of disconnecting from a person you can imagine. I’ve done the quiet fade out and the way more extreme door slam. I’ve changed my phone number and ignored Facebook messages forever. When I tell “normal” people I know (i.e., non-empaths) about my experiences, they are always puzzled. This doesn’t happen to them, and so my methods of cutting people off and cutting people out of my life seem overly dramatic. But the other INFJs and INFPs I know ALWAYS get it. Because it happens to them too.
This was the way life was for me up until about six years ago. The actual process of change was activated years before that, but it was six years ago that I started seeing a significant shift in my life. I began to notice that the energy vampires didn’t seem to be so prevalent in my reality anymore. It wasn’t that I was fending them off better. It was that they just plain weren’t showing up so I didn’t even have to deal with them in the first place.
It was weird, but it also felt awesome. Suddenly, I knew what it meant to be free.
This is an issue that all empaths and intuitives deal with on a constant basis. Energy vampires are attracted by our strong sense of empathy. They meet us and quickly understand that we will pretty much always lend an ear (or a few units of our energy) to their black hole personality. But there’s also more to it than that, and that’s why empaths and intuitives struggle with this so much. We think that the energy vampire shows up in our life so often because we have too much empathy for them, so we naturally conclude that the only solution is to become tougher, less empathetic, less compassionate, and less kind. However, for an empath and/or intuitive person, this is an impossible thing to ask.
The little-known secret is that it’s not about making yourself less empathetic. It’s about changing your energy signature. This is the energetic “fingerprint” of your energy field that other people can read subconsciously and to which they always react. Empaths and intuitives all share a very similar energy signature, and there’s something in this signature that attracts the energy vampires like nothing else.