INFJs, INFPs, and Aging Narcissist Parents

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types frequently struggle with caregiving for an aging narcissist parent. This is a very difficult situation to be in with a close family member, especially a parent, because the INFJ or INFP must be in regular contact with the narcissist, and with all of their dysfunctional behavioral patterns.

Added to this is the fact that, for most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types who grew up with a narcissistic parent, they have never felt truly seen or validated by the parent. This pattern of feeling dismissed, ignored, mocked, or shamed, only becomes stronger as the parent reaches old age. Narcissists are often arrested at a certain early stage of development, and they do not grow past that stage of emotional immaturity. As they age, the dysfunctional energy patterns they use to defensively protect their fragile egos become calcified, and their toxic personality traits become entrenched. Continue Reading

INFJs and the Myth of the Dream Job

INFJ personality types are idealist personality types, and this extends to all areas of life. When an INFJ personality type focuses on what type of career they would like to pursue, one of the first things they consider is how well a potential job lines up with their idealist values.

Many INFJ personality types (and INFP personality types) have an idealized vision in their mind of what their dream job would look like. This idealized vision is strongly tied to the value system of the INFJ or the INFP, and because this is so important to INFJs and INFPs, they often overlook red flags that the job may not actually be a good fit for them. Continue Reading

How INFJs and INFPs Can Make More Money

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types frequently struggle with making money. We also struggle with the popular advice to “follow your bliss.” For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, our “bliss” is usually writing, music, and/or art, but it can feel very difficult to make a sustainable income from any of these activities.

What most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types don’t understand is that “follow your bliss” is only one piece of the money-making puzzle, and it won’t work unless all the other pieces are in place. In order to truly follow our “bliss,” we also need to find a niche that works for us, where we can do what we love and also offer something to an audience willing to pay us for it. Continue Reading

Do INFJs Attract Betrayal?

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often feel unseen and unheard in relationships. They also share a pattern of abandonment and betrayal in relationships. Most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types understand that this pattern is a pattern that they also experienced in childhood, when one or both parents were untrustworthy and/or emotionally unavailable, but they don’t understand why they keep repeating the pattern in adulthood. They also don’t understand why it seems they actually attract people who will end up betraying them, including narcissistic and other manipulative personality types. Continue Reading

INFJs and INFPs and False Friends

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often suffer from the same problem in interpersonal relationships. This problem manifests in the feeling of being smothered by the needs of other people, while simultaneously feeling very lonely and like no one truly sees us or understands us. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types are natural caregivers and adept at holding compassionate space for other people. These qualities draw people to us, and many people believe that they have a deeper bond with us than we do with them. It’s quite common for an INFJ personality type or an INFP personality type to be aware that another person considers them their “best friend,” and yet we don’t return the feeling. Continue Reading