Why Do INFJs and INFPs Get Obsessed with Their Crushes?

If you are an INFJ or an INFP personality type, you know it’s possible to experience intense attraction with your crushes. In fact, most of the time when you develop a “crush” on someone, it doesn’t feel like just a crush. It feels like an obsession.

This can be super confusing for INFJs and INFPs, and many of us blame ourselves for this, feeling like something is wrong with us or like we’re getting overly attached to someone we just recently met, or even someone who we might feel it’s inappropriate for us to have feelings for (especially if we’re already married or in some other type of committed relationship). Continue Reading

Why Empaths Experience Extreme Fear Around Writing Their Stories

Years ago, when I was a struggling alcoholic 20-something in Seattle, my secret dream was to be a writer. But, I couldn’t write. Every time I sat down to try, I was blocked. And not just blocked, but extremely blocked. I felt panicky and anxious, or numb and frozen. I literally could not write one word, even though I thought about writing all the time.

I assumed something was really wrong with me. If I wanted to write so badly, then why couldn’t I write at all?

It wasn’t until years later, after I had joined a silent writing program and finally been able to write my first novel, that I understood what was actually going on with me. The answer was clear, and yet it’s something I still see so many writers struggling with, and just like me, they have no idea why they are struggling so much to write. Continue Reading

INFJ Wrath: When the Rabbit Turns into the Cobra

To the outside world, INFJ personality types are usually seen as one of the most warm and caring types. Even if the INFJ in question is very introverted, we will most often still display a very compassionate and accepting nature. We are known for being able to see all sides of a situation—and many times, all aspects of a person—and so we tend to be great mediators, and experts when it comes to human nature.

INFJs also usually know this about themselves—even if they aren’t familiar with the MBTI personality system and they have no idea what type they are. An INFJ doesn’t need to know their exact personality classification to have picked up on the fact that they can understand people at a deeper level than most others can. The warm, caring side of the INFJ is no mystery to the INFJ who is experiencing it. To us, it’s just how we are.

However, there is another side to the INFJ that is much more confusing, to INFJs themselves, and to others. Continue Reading

Is It Possible to Use Intuitive Writing in the Editing Process?

I get questions about intuitive writing all the time, and one of the questions I get most often is, ‘Is it possible to use Intuitive Writing in the editing process?’ The short answer is: yes. The longer answer is: most writers have no idea how to do this so things in this area can get sticky, very quickly.

Contrary to popular belief, using an intuitive approach to writing or editing does not mean that you have no structure, no plan, and that you just let yourself run wild and write what amounts to pure stream-of-consciousness. Using intuition—in the writing AND the editing process—means that you FEEL your way through the text, adjusting as you go according to what feels right. Usually, writers have an easier time doing this in writing than in editing because once they get to editing they tend to get into a problem-solving mindset of things needing to be fixed. Rather than looking at it as things needing to be fixed, I prefer to think of it as things being made clear. Continue Reading

INFJs and INFPs Are Not Weird. We’re Neurodiverse.

A common theme for people of the INFJ personality type and INFP personality type is to feel like most of life is a struggle. INFJs and INFPs tend to experience conflict around writing and creativity, and also usually have a hard time finding the connection to their life purpose, their truth, and their place in the world.

Most of us feel alienated, alone, and like there is no place for us. But this is what most INFJs and INFPs don’t know: Continue Reading