In my last two articles, I talked about the cocoon phase for introverts, and the big wall of fear most people experience when they come out of the cocoon. This is very normal for intuitive introverts who are going through big life transitions, and it’s actually a sign of good things to come. Because after the cocoon phase and the wall of fear, many people begin to feel the first deep stirrings of their creative calling in life.
In my last article, I talked about the “cocoon phase” for introverts, and how to know if you’re in one right now. Over the past few years—and especially the past few months—I’ve seen a definite pattern with my clients and students and the theme of life transition.
Since the pandemic, many of us INFJs and INFPs are coming out of a long period of reflection, and an intense amount of upheaval. Some of us have lost jobs or quit jobs, some of us have ended long-term relationships, or decided to seek a partner after a long time of being on our own. And some of us have picked up and moved to a different city, state, or a different country altogether, or we’re considering such a move right now.
These kinds of life transitions are common for intuitive introverts who are ready to open a new chapter in their life, and this can all be very exciting. However, it can be very scary, too. What usually happens when you begin making big life transitions is that you feel enthusiastic at first, and then you get hit with a big wall of fear.
One of the most common problems for INFJ writers is when they become paralyzed when faced with making a creative decision about their writing. Sometimes this happens when the INFJ writer is trying to decide which writing project to start first, and sometimes it happens when they are already working on a writing project and they are trying to make a decision about which direction it should go in for the best forward movement on the project.
What’s happening when an INFJ writer is blocked in their decision-making is usually that we’re getting overwhelmed. This occurs when INFJ writers use thinking over intuition when trying to make creative decisions. Although we are strong in our thinking skills, these skills should be relegated to situations which call for straightforward problem-solving, not complex intuitive creativity.
If you are an INFJ or an INFP personality type, you know it’s possible to experience intense attraction with your crushes. In fact, most of the time when you develop a “crush” on someone, it doesn’t feel like just a crush. It feels like an obsession.
This can be super confusing for INFJs and INFPs, and many of us blame ourselves for this, feeling like something is wrong with us or like we’re getting overly attached to someone we just recently met, or even someone who we might feel it’s inappropriate for us to have feelings for (especially if we’re already married or in some other type of committed relationship).
Years ago, when I was a struggling alcoholic 20-something in Seattle, my secret dream was to be a writer. But, I couldn’t write. Every time I sat down to try, I was blocked. And not just blocked, but extremely blocked. I felt panicky and anxious, or numb and frozen. I literally could not write one word, even though I thought about writing all the time.
I assumed something was really wrong with me. If I wanted to write so badly, then why couldn’t I write at all?
It wasn’t until years later, after I had joined a silent writing program and finally been able to write my first novel, that I understood what was actually going on with me. The answer was clear, and yet it’s something I still see so many writers struggling with, and just like me, they have no idea why they are struggling so much to write.