I started coaching people over seven years ago, but I had wanted to start coaching people long before that. I read about coaching and thought about coaching and asked a few close friends if they thought I would be a good coach. I was running an in-person writing group at the time, and I knew I was already effectively coaching people one-on-one, within the group. I could see the evidence all around me. I had a passion for this dream and feedback from others that I would be good at doing it professionally.
But still, it was a few more years before I actually did it.
What held me back for so long?
The fear of people hating your coaching style, or thinking you suck as a coach, is something that plagues many INFJs and INFPs who are thinking of launching a coaching business. In fact, this fear still has the power to haunt us even after we start working with our first few clients. I had this fear in the beginning too. What if I got on the phone with someone, gave it my all, and then at the end they told me they didn’t have a good experience? Or what if they didn’t say anything, but they never contacted me again? I didn’t want to end up ghosted, or feeling rejected. I just wanted to help people, and also work for myself. Did a possible solution to this fear even exist?
In the beginning, I made the same mistake many new coaches make. I assumed that I needed to become more confident and then this fear would go away. But it wasn’t until I had been coaching for a few years that I found the real solution. It wasn’t about me pushing myself to embody a false confidence that I didn’t really feel. Instead, to get past this fear, I needed to change my thinking about getting clients, and keeping clients.