If you are an INFJ or an INFP personality type, you know it’s possible to experience intense attraction with your crushes. In fact, most of the time when you develop a “crush” on someone, it doesn’t feel like just a crush. It feels like an obsession.
This can be super confusing for INFJs and INFPs, and many of us blame ourselves for this, feeling like something is wrong with us or like we’re getting overly attached to someone we just recently met, or even someone who we might feel it’s inappropriate for us to have feelings for (especially if we’re already married or in some other type of committed relationship).
When I was in my 20’s, I fell madly in love with a guy and ended up moving across the country for him. We were together for three months in Seattle before he broke up with me and started dating someone else. A couple of friends had moved out to the West Coast with me, so I wasn’t totally alone, but I was still devastated. Not only over losing the guy, but also because it seemed like no one else around me understood what I was going through.
This had been a pattern before the Seattle-guy breakup, and it continued to be a pattern afterward. For a long time, I assumed that I was too sensitive, or that I got too attached to people. For a while, I just thought something was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I get over people as fast as others did? Why did it take me a year or two, or an even longer amount of time, before I wasn’t actively in pain over a relationship crashing and burning? And maybe the weirdest thing of all, why did I still FEEL the energy of the person long after we had ceased to speak or even glimpse each other in real life?