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I’m an author, a teacher, a speaker, and an intuitive writing coach. I also wrote the book The INFJ Writer, a writing guide for intuitive introverts, HSPs, empaths, and all other sensitive, struggling artists.

 

I began working with blocked writers in 2009 when I founded the WriteCity writing group in Seattle, and then I expanded the program to San Francisco in 2010. I became a full-time writing coach in 2013, working as an advocate for writers in one-on-one sessions designed to help bring the writer’s creative dreams into existence with unconditional love and support. In 2019, I created my Intuitive Writing method and began teaching the method to frustrated writers through workshops and online courses.

 

In between coaching writers and teaching classes, I’m currently promoting my latest book, The INFJ Revolution: Reclaim Your Power, Live Your Purpose, Heal the World. The INFJ Revolution is available on Amazon.
Lauren Sapala

INFJs and the Myth of the Dream Job

INFJ personality types are idealist personality types, and this extends to all areas of life. When an INFJ personality type focuses on what type of career they would like to pursue, one of the first things they consider is how well a potential job lines up with their idealist values. Many INFJ personality types (and INFP personality types) have an idealized vision in their mind of what their dream job would look like. This idealized vision is strongly tied to the value system of the INFJ or the INFP, and because this is so important to INFJs and INFPs, they often overlook red flags that the job may not actually be a good fit for them.

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Lauren Sapala

How INFJs and INFPs Can Make More Money

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types frequently struggle with making money. We also struggle with the popular advice to “follow your bliss.” For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, our “bliss” is usually writing, music, and/or art, but it can feel very difficult to make a sustainable income from any of these activities. What most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types don’t understand is that “follow your bliss” is only one piece of the money-making puzzle, and it won’t work unless all the other pieces are in place. In order to truly follow our “bliss,” we also need to find a niche that works for us, where we can do what we love and also offer something to an audience willing to pay us for it.

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Lauren Sapala

Do INFJs Attract Betrayal?

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often feel unseen and unheard in relationships. They also share a pattern of abandonment and betrayal in relationships. Most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types understand that this pattern is a pattern that they also experienced in childhood, when one or both parents were untrustworthy and/or emotionally unavailable, but they don’t understand why they keep repeating the pattern in adulthood. They also don’t understand why it seems they actually attract people who will end up betraying them, including narcissistic and other manipulative personality types.

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Lauren Sapala

INFJs and INFPs and False Friends

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often suffer from the same problem in interpersonal relationships. This problem manifests in the feeling of being smothered by the needs of other people, while simultaneously feeling very lonely and like no one truly sees us or understands us. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types are natural caregivers and adept at holding compassionate space for other people. These qualities draw people to us, and many people believe that they have a deeper bond with us than we do with them. It’s quite common for an INFJ personality type or an INFP personality type to be aware that another person considers them their “best friend,” and yet we don’t return the feeling.

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Lauren Sapala

INFJs and INFPs and Chronic Pain

INFJs and INFPs both frequently suffer from chronic pain. Sometimes this pain arises from an injury, and sometimes it is the result of a long-term chronic illness. Whatever the root cause is, living with chronic pain is an exhausting process. It’s helpful to understand how the traits of the INF personality type affect your journey with chronic pain, and can even contribute to an increase in pain levels. Both INFJs and INFPs commonly experience “energy overwhelm,” and this is a significant factor in an increase in pain levels for those who live with chronic pain. Energy overwhelm happens when we are overwhelmed by too many people or too much stimulus, as often happens with busy workplaces or crowded events. Energy overwhelm can also happen when an INFJ or INFP is trying to take care of too many people. It can also happen when we spread ourselves too thin trying to ensure that harmony is present in any given situation.

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Lauren Sapala

INFJ and INFP Unhappiness in Life

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types are two of the MBTI personality types that tend to struggle with unhappiness in life. For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, this unhappiness usually stems from keeping themselves small. This can show up in the workplace, in family life, or in a friend group. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types usually play small to protect themselves, and to ensure that they don’t trigger insecurity in others. However, this has a long-term detrimental affect on the INFJ or INFP, as they don’t feel like they can ever really be seen, heard, or acknowledged for who they are.

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