Many INFJ personality types and INFP personality types grow up in homes where enmeshment is a common occurrence. Enmeshment is a form of codependency that is not often talked about in relation to narcissism, but it is strongly linked to narcissistic family dynamics.
With enmeshment, the boundaries between family members (especially parents and children) are vague, blurred, unpredictable, and constantly changing. In an enmeshed parent-child relationship, the parent consistently merges their energy with the energy of the child. They expect the child to share their preferences, needs, attitudes, goals, and motivations. If the child attempts to pull away, assert a boundary in any way, or individuate as a person, the parent will punish the child, either overtly or passively-aggressively. The usual weapon of choice for parents who are enmeshed with their children is to coldly and silently withdraw their love until the child “falls in line” and stops trying to assert a boundary against the parent.
