Perfectionism is one of the biggest problems that writers struggle with on a regular basis. And most writers tend to blame themselves for this problem. We often see perfectionism as a character flaw, or a bad habit that we need to conquer. But what most writers don’t know is that perfectionism is neither of these things.
When you suffer from perfectionism at a deep level, what you’re really struggling with is anxiety, and much of the time, that anxiety is out of your control. It is not something to be conquered or battled.
It is something to be healed.
Most memoir writers worry about how their book will be received, but for those writers who are writing about controversial themes, they have an even bigger worry than what other people will think, and that’s whether or not anyone will even believe them.
When memoirs feature controversial themes such as narcissistic abuse, abuse by a parent, relationships that revolve around mind games, and/or control and manipulation, many writers feel they won’t be believed because they weren’t believed when it was happening to them in real life.
All memoir writing can be difficult for writers, and bring up a lot of fear, especially when it comes to sharing it with other people. However, one type of memoir is the hardest type of memoir to write, and that is the form of memoir known as “dark memoir.” Dark memoir is a common sub-genre within the category of memoir, but most writers who are writing it don’t know that’s what they’re writing.
Dark memoir is a memoir that contains taboo topics and/or controversial material. Dark memoir contains elements and themes such as narcissistic abuse, addiction, and usually includes details about the writer’s feelings of rage toward family members or former partners. It is hard to write this kind of memoir, and even harder to share it. Fear is the number one obstacle that holds writers of dark memoir back from writing and sharing their work.
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types love to try new methods of time management and productivity, and new methods of creativity. However, most of these methods don’t work for intuitive personality types. Instead, they make INFJ personality types and INFP personality types feel worse about themselves.
This is because INFJ personality types and INFP personality types are very different from the mainstream population, and so the mainstream methods just don’t fit them. Sometimes INFJs and INFPs can take one of these methods and use it for a short period of time, or hack it in such a way that they can make it fit for a little while. But over the long term they will tend to abandon these methods and then be right back where they started, and that means feeling frustrated and alone.
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to judge themselves harshly for not sticking with projects and not finishing things. They blame themselves for a “lack of focus.” But what most INFJs and INFPs don’t know is that they are not the problem, and what they call a “lack of focus” is really a sign of a gifted neurodivergent mind.
“Lack of focus” is one of the most commonly reported problems from INFJ personality types and INFP personality types when it comes to finishing creative projects. Many INFJs and INFPs will say: