Why INFJ Writers Are So Deeply Triggered by Criticism

A few years ago, I gave one of the first drafts of one of my novels to a friend who said she was interested in reading it and giving me feedback. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about getting her feedback, but I figured this was something I had to do if I wanted to grow that “thick skin” that I’d heard every writer had to have. So, against my better judgment, I gave it to her.

“I didn’t like the ending,” she said when I met with her the next time. “It felt like the main character was too dependent on the people outside of her. She should have been more independent, more feisty. I like strong female characters.”

Well, I was immediately crushed. And then instantly spiraled out. This didn’t just feel like feedback to me, it felt like stinging, crushing, excruciating criticism. The ending of my story was all wrong. The main character was all wrong. She wasn’t strong enough, she wasn’t independent enough. She just wasn’t…enough. And neither was I. Continue Reading

Afraid to Start Writing Your Memoir? Here’s How to Push Past the Fear.

Even if you’ve been dreaming of writing your memoir for years, it’s very common to sit down to actually start doing it and feel immediately paralyzed and not able to move forward. This is a very specific, very strong form of writer’s block that often hits writers right when they’ve decided to finally take the plunge and begin writing their memoir. It also tends to happen to writers who have already started their memoir, and then they get into the middle of the first draft and don’t know how to keep going.

Symptoms of this kind of resistance show up as feeling paralyzed or frozen. It also shows up as feeling completely confused about how you’re ever going to pull all the pieces together, finish the book, or make it into anything worthwhile.

When this feeling of paralysis comes over you, it’s a sure sign that your system is overwhelmed. And when we go into overwhelm, we shut down and our creative energy goes into hiding. Continue Reading

5 Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore That Are Telling You to Write Your Memoir

It’s very common for writers to begin writing their memoir and then tell me, “Oh wow, I wish I’d started this years ago. I can’t believe I put off writing my book for this long.” This is because, once the writer starts actually writing, they realize that they’ve been getting clear signs all along that writing their memoir was an important life task they are supposed to complete.

So, why do we ignore clear signs and still keep procrastinating on writing our memoir? Well, it’s pretty simple really. It’s fear. Every writer who has ever considered writing a memoir has felt this fear—and it’s no easy thing to conquer.

However, there are handful of BIG signs (5 in particular) that only happen when it’s truly time for a person to get serious about writing their memoir.

I outline these 5 signs in the video below:

I’m teaching a new class this June called Memoir Writing for Everyone and we’re going to be diving deep into the memoir writing process. We’ll be learning:

How to start your first draft
How to edit and structure your memoir
How to deal with fear of judgment

And more.

The class will also include Directed Writing Sessions, in which I’ll be giving memoir-specific prompts to get you going on writing some of the actual pieces of your memoir, so you’ll have something substantial to work with once the class ends.

To get all the updates on the class as I announce them, be sure to sign up for my newsletter HERE, and if you have any questions about the class, you can them to me here.

I’ll be releasing the third and final video in this series in just a couple of days. See you then!

Lauren Sapala is the author of The INFJ WriterThe INFJ Revolution, and the creator of Intuitive Writing, an online video course for INFJ and INFP writers who struggle with traditional writing methods. She also recently released Loving Meditations for Writers, a bundle of 10 meditations for only $20 that you can use for your regular writing practice. You can get a free copy of her book on creative marketing for writers by signing up for her newsletter HERE.

How Do You Know If You Should Write a Memoir?

In every one of my classes for writers, there are always a few writers who are doing deep healing work and, along the way, discover that they feel called to write a memoir. However, immediately after this, self-doubt kicks in and the writer questions if they really should be spending their time trying to write a memoir, or if their time would be better spent on some other writing project.

I’ve also worked with many people who have tried to write their memoir, but never finished it, or could never quite get the motivation to start it. This is extremely common for writers who are embarking on writing a first memoir. The problem is that every writer who goes through it tends to feel very isolated and has no idea their struggle is not just about them, but is actually a relatively natural part of the process for first-time memoir writers.

Usually, first-time memoir writers are dealing with a lot of fear around the process. They’re afraid that: Continue Reading

Top 5 Causes of Procrastination in Writers

Are you a writer who struggles with procrastination? Well, you’re not alone. I’ve worked with hundreds of struggling writers and procrastination is one of the most commonly reported problems and sources of dissatisfaction among writers that I see in my coaching practice.

Most writers know that procrastination is the problem, but many of us don’t know exactly WHY. I’ve outlined my list of the top 5 causes of procrastination in writers that I see all the time in my clients and students. Continue Reading