As an INFJ and an empath, I have attracted energy vampires most of my life. They’ve ranged from the relatively harmless person who tends to dump all their personal problems on me every time we meet, to the severely toxic people who can be classified as narcissists and psychopaths.
Since this has happened to me since the time when I was very young, I’ve gone through every stage of disconnecting from a person you can imagine. I’ve done the quiet fade out and the way more extreme door slam. I’ve changed my phone number and ignored Facebook messages forever. When I tell “normal” people I know (i.e., non-empaths) about my experiences, they are always puzzled. This doesn’t happen to them, and so my methods of cutting people off and cutting people out of my life seem overly dramatic. But the other INFJs and INFPs I know ALWAYS get it. Because it happens to them too.
This was the way life was for me up until about six years ago. The actual process of change was activated years before that, but it was six years ago that I started seeing a significant shift in my life. I began to notice that the energy vampires didn’t seem to be so prevalent in my reality anymore. It wasn’t that I was fending them off better. It was that they just plain weren’t showing up so I didn’t even have to deal with them in the first place.
It was weird, but it also felt awesome. Suddenly, I knew what it meant to be free.
This is an issue that all empaths and intuitives deal with on a constant basis. Energy vampires are attracted by our strong sense of empathy. They meet us and quickly understand that we will pretty much always lend an ear (or a few units of our energy) to their black hole personality. But there’s also more to it than that, and that’s why empaths and intuitives struggle with this so much. We think that the energy vampire shows up in our life so often because we have too much empathy for them, so we naturally conclude that the only solution is to become tougher, less empathetic, less compassionate, and less kind. However, for an empath and/or intuitive person, this is an impossible thing to ask.
The little-known secret is that it’s not about making yourself less empathetic. It’s about changing your energy signature. This is the energetic “fingerprint” of your energy field that other people can read subconsciously and to which they always react. Empaths and intuitives all share a very similar energy signature, and there’s something in this signature that attracts the energy vampires like nothing else.
I’ve published 5 books (3 nonfiction and 2 fiction) and there’s so much I wish I would have known before publishing, that I now know through the long, hard road of experience. Whether you’re going the traditional publishing route, or you’re choosing to self-publish, there’s definitely a learning curve to becoming a new published author. My hope is that I can save you the headache of figuring it all out on your own so that the whole process goes a bit easier for you.
My new video course, ‘The Joyful Writer,’ is now available for purchase!
CLICK HERE FOR THE JOYFUL WRITER VIDEO COURSE
And thanks so much to everyone who has emailed me in the past couple of days and let me know that this is exactly what you need at this time. 🙂
P.S. The Joyful Writer is only $79 until this Friday, June 25. After that it goes up to $119, so if you know you want it, jump on it before the price goes up!
In my last article, Why Are Writers So Susceptible to Toxic Ideas About Creativity? I talked about how easy it is to fall prey to the never-ending anxiety loops of the brain when we are disconnected from our own hearts. When you’re almost totally in the brain space, writing becomes much harder than it needs to be.
If this is you, you’ll know this is you, because writing just isn’t any fun anymore. It feels difficult and fills you with dread and makes you feel badly about yourself. This is the result of letting the brain run your creative show, and there is another result that is rarely talked about, but has an extremely damaging effect on writers.
In my last article, One of the Biggest (and Most Dangerous) Myths in the Writing Community, I talked about the dangerous idea that is so prevalent in the writing community that “creativity has to be hard.” This idea is so dangerous because it stresses writers out to the point where they are totally consumed with anxiety and they then bring a ton of resistance to their writing projects, or can’t write at all.
Today, I’m talking about WHY we are so susceptible to this toxic belief and why it can be so hard to uproot it from our creative practice, like a tenacious weed that just won’t let go.
The reason is because, as a society, we are almost wholly dependent on our brains. We use our brains to navigate our world, interpret all information, and make every decision, very rarely ever checking in with our hearts. We have been programmed and trained to operate in this way from an early age, and if we do, by chance, happen to be a person who has broken out of this way of doing things and has tried to find greater balance by reconnecting with our heart, we are usually shamed in some way, and told we are “too idealistic,” “too sensitive,” and made to feel that we’re even possibly just slightly stupid.