Why INFJs and ENFJs Make Awesome Writing Partners

Dragons Red and GreenIf you’re an INFJ who’s been searching around on the internet for more information on your personality type, you’ve probably noticed that there are a ton of other INFJs out there who profess to feeling lonely, out of place, and on a different wavelength than most of the population. It’s really cool that there are so many online spaces in existence now where INFJs can meet others just like themselves and talk about it.

But let’s not forget that there are a few other personality types out there that are incredibly complementary to the way INFJs work.

The ENFJ writer, for one, is an excellent creative match for the INFJ writer.

Let’s Talk About It
Like the INFJ, the ENFJ personality is particularly adept at listening and offering constructive, nurturing support. ENFJs get excited about interesting people and ideas and their excitement is contagious. They also share extroverted feeling as one of their top two functions with INFJs so they know exactly what it’s like to pick up on the emotions of others.

Because the ENFJ has the skills of an emotional ninja they can be successful like no one else at coaxing the secretive INFJ into peeling back a few of our layers. Specifically, if anyone can get us to talk about our writing and verbalize our ideas out loud, it’s the ENFJ. And that verbalization is an amazing boost to our creativity because it’s something we’re not able to do with everyone.

Really Getting It
That thing about listening goes both ways. INFJs are so good at listening that a lot of people pour out their life stories to us before they even know they’re doing it. The extroverted feeling function comes back into play here, helping INFJs respond to whoever is doing the talking with genuine warmth and empathy. We really feel what you’re going through, and it shows.

ENJFs also navigate their world through emotion, and consequently, they are usually very passionate individuals. When an ENFJ writer is working on a book she cares deeply about her characters and their stories. Because the INFJ is able to fully fathom this level of caring and respond in the same emotional language, ENFJs can be empowered to be their true creative selves in front of someone they know really “gets it”.

It’s All about People
INFJs are introverts, yes. If we’re around too many people for too long our batteries get depleted, yes. But that doesn’t change the fact that our main fascination in life is people. We can’t get enough information about them. We want to know how so many of them tick; why they do the things they do and make the choices they make.

ENFJs share this love of people with the INFJ. But because of their extroverted nature they are much more likely to strike up conversations with strangers and actually go to that party the INFJ only thinks about attending. The ENFJ makes a fantastic partner-in-crime for the INFJ writer as they have the magical ability to help the INFJ shift from their inner world of imagination to the outer world of real people with real stories.

Not sure which personality type you are? You can take the test here.

For more articles on INFJ writers you might be interested in:

Why INFJs and INFPs Have Such a Hard Time with Criticism

Why INFJs Have Trouble Writing

5 Mistakes for INFJ and INFP Writers to Avoid

Understanding the Introverted Writer

And if you’re interested in learning more about INFJ writers and how we work check out my book:

The INFJ Writer

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6 Comments

  • Reply Kara 13 February, 2014 at 9:55 am

    I find typology to be very interesting. Funny, a friend of mine (an INTJ) was telling me about someone she knows who is an ENFJ who is also writing a book like myself (INFJ). She said, you two and your books! I never thought of it that way though, pairing up. I don’t know many writers where I live, but I am connecting with people across the internet. I just might have to step out and join a meetup group of writers, UGH! Too hard for this introvert.

    • Reply Lauren Sapala 13 February, 2014 at 10:15 am

      I was just talking with a couple of my introvert friends last night about how many times we have browsed different MeetUp groups online that look interesting, but have never actually shown up at a meeting in real life. The thought of showing up at a “group” sounds totally UGH to me too 🙂

      I have two very good ENFJ friends who are writers (who also served as inspiration for much of this post) and I am so grateful to both of them because they will drag me along to the party, or the group, or the meeting or whatever, but are still very sensitive to the fact that it’s not the easiest thing in the world for me.

      I think ENFJs are great for pushing us to move outside of our comfort zone, while helping us feel safe doing it at the same time.

  • Reply Robyn LaRue 14 February, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    My (adult) son is an ENFJ to my INFJ and he does that for me in several areas. The one who draws out the deepest ideas is an INTJ, but the writer I”m going to be collaborating with is neither of those, (but an NF core), so will be interesting and something good to be aware of as we work. I think I could study this stuff til the end of time. 🙂

    • Reply Lauren Sapala 14 February, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Me too, I’m fascinated by the types! I also think it’s so cool how types interact and work with each other.

  • Reply Marie Ann Bailey 15 February, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Lauren, thanks for this post. So often in debates about personality types, we talk about extroverts vs introverts, not acknowledging/realizing that there can be considerable overlap between them. I imagine those overlaps can lead to great collaborations and great friendships. When I think about the friends I have in my concrete world, I know there are quite a few extroverts among them. It’s taken me a long time though to not feel envious over their wide social circles and easy, outgoing personalities, to not feel like I need to try and be someone I’m not for the sake of fitting in. But I know these extroverted friends of mine like me as I am; in fact, I think for many of them, it is like you say above in your post. I’m a good listener and often times they need someone to just listen and validate whatever they happen to be going through at the time. In turn, they broaden my social horizons by being my friends.

    • Reply Lauren Sapala 15 February, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      So true Marie! I really think that if two personalities are both creative, intuitive, and emotional, the introvert vs. extrovert divide matters very little.

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